Go Be Free
by Sturnidae
Summary: In which Alfred is an assassin but he doesn't want to be. Matthew wants to help. (BEING REWRITTEN)


Alfred Jones tugged on his collar dully and took a freshly poured glass of wine off of a table. He took a small sip of the liquid and scanned the room, staring at all the people chattering and talking. He sighed and leaned against the wall.

God, he **hated** parties. He never saw the point of being gathered in one area to eat to do useless small talk and chitchat. It's not like anyone would benefit from it. It was the same anyways.

 _How are you doing?_

 _Fine., blahblahblah, **and so on**_

And he especially didn't want to be at one now of all days...not that he had much of a choice. It was his job, and responsibilities come first, of course. He just wanted to get this over with so that he could go home. He was already sore and hurting from last night's mission, though he hadn't done a lot . They were supposed to retrieve an important wire piece from Nictron Industries, and well, they had succeeded. On the mission, Alfred's team broke up; him and Ivan served as a distraction, while Arthur and Matthew went after the wire.(It was a special wire made from titanium) Arthur always liked Mathew better than Alfred. Obviously that's why the Brit never offered Alfred to be on the same squad as him. Hut he didn't give a shit. He wasn't anyone's favorite anyways. And he was damn proud.

Suddenly, his earpiece beeped and in came a voice.

"I spotted him close to the fountain. He's the man with the purple tie, can't miss him." said Arthur quietly into his little speaker, almost in a whisper. Alfred blinked and set aside his drink, looking over to the big marble fountain. Arthur was right.

You definitely couldn't miss him.

The man was wearing a purple tie like Arthur said, but damn. It was so bright. Alfred held back a laugh. What an idiot. Surely anybody could spot and kill him. The purple was so neon, so very bright, and was that...yellow polka-dots? He looked like a walking target! Sure, many men at this party wore silly ties, but on it him was stupid. And God, it was funny.

Alfred noticed someone move out of the corner of his eye, and looked up at the second floor. Arthur stood at the balcony in the shadows. It looked like he was thinking of the next move, but Alfred wasn't sure if it was that or not.

Not with him.

Suddenly their eyes locked, emerald with sapphire, and Alfred frowned, looking away. He grabbed his drink and walked to another corner.

Arthur. He just despised that man. He didn't know why, he just did. He always insisted on treating Alfred so badly. Even for the most simple mistakes, he was yelled at. He wasn't a child, but yet he always felt like one! He was 16, and he was ready to be on his own. If it weren't for Gilbert...

Alfred pursed his lips and walked around the room as Arthur's voice came in.

"David is to be killed quietly. I don't want to cause an alarm on such a human-infested area." he said. "Stay back until my signal."

Alfred rolled his eyes and looked over to the man. Why wait? Just blow a poison dart and get over with it!

"Why not just shoot him now? Nobody is watching."Alfred said back, taking a cookie off another table and helping himself. Vanilla. Not bad.

"No. wait until my signal. We wait. I want to hit him straight in the-"

"What's the point of me being here? I'm not even the one killing him, you are! You could have gotten into this building easily without me!"

"So we can-"

"No, it's stupid. David is so easy to kill. Just do it now! I want this over with-"

"You wait on my signal, that's final Alfred. Shut up and follow directions like the good dog you are."Arthur barked back, though it was at a low volume. Alfred gripped onto his cookie and crumbled it.

"Fuck you." he hissed and took his drink again. He could spot girls staring at him. He focused on his drink and turned away, ignoring the little giggles he heard. Arthur was always doing this, always mocking him and treating him like a child! He was an adult, and should be treated like it! Alfred threw his cookie into the trash angrily. He sighed and tried to calm himself again. No, he wasn't mad. He was fine.

He needed to focus on the task at hand.

'David is a high class man, here to fetch a vile left in the fountain. We have microbes to kill him. We spike his drink with it, and he'll die within a day. Good way to kill someone without too much suspicion.'

Before, Arthur and Alfred snuck into the building and had to split up, entering the building. The area was very well protected, so the two had to work together to get in, which took allot of smoke bombs, kicking, lying, and dressing. Alfred could understand why it would take two people to go in, but Alfred knew Arthur didn't need his help on this mission, so why did he even come?

Alfred eyed David as he walked away from the fountain and towards him. Fuck, he was getting a drink, wasn't he? He wasn't prepared, he didn't know if he even had time to slip in the microbes, and this might be the only chance he got. Fuckfuckfuckfuck-

"He's coming towards me.."he said into the intercom and looked away from him. Hopefully Arthur had a plan of some sort. Even though he hated the other, Arthur always had a plan-

"No he isn't, look."spoke Arthur. "He has stopped to talk to a lady."

Alfred looked over, and Arthur was correct. The man was stopped by a woman in a pink dress and white boa who was babbling about some sort of political achievement. He could tell by David's face expressions that he was desperately trying to get out of the conversation for some wine and refreshments, and for a moment, he felt pity for the man. Alfred sighed and touched his earpiece to speak to the intercom again when Arthur came in.

"Crimson, are you-"

"On it."

Alfred grabbed a cookie and munched on it then took a cup, taking a vile from his sleeve and pouring the clear liquid in it(which had the microbes), making sure nobody watched. It took two seconds to do so anyways. When he finished, he went to take another cookie to look like he was just there for refreshments only.

"He's coming!"

Alfred looked over and spotted David walking towards the table again.

"Mr. Kyleson!"he greeted when David arrived. He made sure to put on a flashy smile like the other rich people. David raised his brow. Alfred almost laughed. He looked like an American gangster.

 _Might as well stick a cigar in his mouth._ He thought. Alfred scanned over him again, amused. He was a short man, but handsome for sure. He had black hair and chocolate eyes, but his nose was large and he had an olive color skin. He looked around 30, but he knew the man was around 25. It said so in his folder.

And Alfred always read about his victims.

"I see you're enjoying yourself."Alfred said and held up the glass he spiked. "Drink?"

David took it and eyed it, taking a gulp of the sweet wine. "And you are..?"

"Names Tom, big fan!" said Alfred again. Damn, he hated this act. "I hear you're doing good with trying to get that factory built on Cherry Street! Congratulations."

"Yes, yes, thank you! It took a lot of work. Not sure if my team and I will be able to put my idea through the heads of the community, but i'm trying. Could you excuse me? I see a person who's been waiting for me."mumbled David and pushed past Alfred. He could almost applaud him. The man obviously didn't like small-talk either.

"Alright, good work Alfred, it's time to go. I'll meet you in the car."said Arthur. Alfred smiled. Thank God.

Alfred grabbed his glass and went across the room, ready to go. He was taking the cup, he couldn't have any evidence left over. The police could come and investigate then search for the cups. Surely someone will tell the police they found him suspicious and then everyone would look for him! Er...maybe.

"Arthur, what about the box?"

"The box?"

"The damn vile David came for!"

"Oh, I have it with me. Now come on, we have to go."

Arthur had the vile? When? Why the fuck wasn't he informed? Alfred gritted his teeth and walked through the party to the door, when he was stopped by a childish laugh.

The assassin looked over to David and spotted him talking to a young girl. She looked fourteen, but she looked rich. She wore a white dress, color of pure innocence, and had the most pretty blonde, curly hair. Alfred looked around for her parents. Surely she wasn't alone. And talking to David? The man was a lunatic. Surely a little girl would have company when being around him. Alfred looked around and soon spotted her mother and father, walking up to her. The girl obviously was a spitting image of her father, having the same nose and features.

The parents accompanied the little girl in the conversation after some seconds, and Alfred felt a pang through his chest. They looked so happy as a family. It reminded him so much of his own dead family. The girl was lucky, she had someone there, and she had everything she wanted. Unlike him…

"Alfred?"said Arthur. Alfred didn't reply and snuck into a corner, watching David. He just wanted to see why David chose to talk to the little girl. Shouldn't he be getting the vile?

David dug his hand in his pocket. Alfred assumed he wanted to show the family something. But no, the object looked big in his hands. Maybe an invention of some sort? Alfred looked to the girl and read the pure happiness on her face. She looked so innocent. And David...well, he was something.

Alfred watched as David pulled out a gun. He quickly pieced two and two together. David was going to shoot her. He was going to shoot a little girl. Alfred went to pull out his own gun and everything seemed to go in slow motion for a moment as the girl's face went from a happy look to a scared one. And as soon as it started, it ended.

"Alfred!"yelled Arthur.

A gunshot was heard throughout the party, followed by a piercing scream.

Alfred stopped in his tracks. Fuck.

David was shot straight through the head and the little girl screamed in terror, staring at the man fall before her with such dead eyes.

Alfred watched the girl and their eyes met. He could only stare at the pure terror and traumatized look she had. She looked so scarred, so down, so...hopeless. And now her gown was spattered in pure blood, and she just stared down at it , looking at the crimson liquid. Her expression changed from an emotionless stare, to a realizing one to a pure terrified look. She looked up.

She screamed.

And Alfred ran for it.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" barked Arthur. "You disrespected me, and you disrespected our team!"

Everyone was in the base room. Or so they called it. It was a long room, not too big or small. You could say it was just right. The room was used for meetings, or to receive missions often. They didn't really use any other room for mission based things, other than the training room, but that was more of a gym than anything. Matthew, Ivan, Francis, and Alfred stood as Arthur continued to yell at Alfred.

"So? It doesn't matter! We were going to kill him anyways! We poisoned him!"snapped Alfred, clenching his fist. "He was going to die!"

"And I was going to kidnap him to interrogate him Alfred!"he yelled. Alfred stopped. Interrogate…? Alfred clenched his eyes close and Matthew decided to leave the room, pulling Ivan along. This wasn't their fight.

"How was I supposed to know? You don't tell me! He was going to kill a child! What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to follow directions! Children are killed everyday, she wasn't a difference and now everyone is looking for us!"

"She was with her parents! I couldn't let her get slaughtered! She was innocent and she didn't deserve to get killed!"he informed loudly. Arthur looked away and mumbled something angrily.

"What?"Alfred asked angrily. "I can't hear you, you filthy shit!"

Arthur snapped his head up and in a matter of seconds he grabbed Alfred's wrist. Alfred attempted to struggle, but stopped when he caught the glare in Arthur's emerald eye.

"It doesn't matter what you thought was right. You are part of this team and I gave you an order. You ruined everything and now our cover is blown. I don't care what you tried to do. You ruined it, just like always. Frankly, if the kid was shot, she got what was coming to her."he said in a dark tone.

Alfred widened his eyes and he looked down, letting his bangs slide over his eyes. Could Arthur really say that? That he didn't care that a child died? The girl was innocent, he knew it, it wasn't fair if she just died.. He knew Arthur didn't deserve a Hero of The Year Award, but he didn't know that's what he really felt. And if his leader was like that, he wasn't even sure what to think..

"How could you say that..."he muttered. Arthur tightened his grip on Alfred's collar. "You knew I asked you that I didn't want to come today, and you just...you ignored it! I didn't want to go! YOU FORCED ME. I FUCKING HATE YOU ARTHUR!"

Alfred was slammed to a wall and he winced, grunting. He looked up and met with Arthur's eyes. And suddenly, Alfred understood. He understood why Arthur took him on a mission that was obviously a solo mission.

 _This was a test._

 _And I failed it._

Alfred could feel his fists shake as Arthur snarled,"Brat! I would beat you right here and now if it weren't for-"

"For what? Gilbert? Go ahead! He beat me too!"he yelled, and kicked Arthur off him. He pushed past Francis and stormed off to his room.

Arthur tried to go after the other as well, but Francis put a hand on his shoulder, sighing. "Let him go mon cheri, he needs to cool off."

"So do I."muttered Arthur, turning around. "This brat is out of control. Can't even follow a simple direction."

Francis laughed. "He was trained by Gilbert."

Arthur shook his head and went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. "Brat….Why would David try to shoot the little girl?"he asked, taking a cup out. Francis shrugged.

"Maybe he was here to assassinate as well?"

"But David isn't trained in that sort of thing.."replied Arthur. He boiled some tea and leaned against the fridge, looking over to Francis. "I think."

* * *

Alfred slammed the door shut to his room and kicked his bed , jumping on it and screaming into a pillow in pure anger. Damn Arthur, damn everything.

He just wanted to kill them all.

Alfred cried out and threw his pillow to the corner of the room. Hearing a crash, he looked up. Alfred sat up and walked over to the pillow, picking it up and groaning at the glass that had fallen from a picture frame. Alfred began to pick up the glass one by one with his gloved fingers and threw them in the trash. Then he took hold of the silver frame and the picture, looking over it.

He looked so happy in that picture. He stood in between his parents, smiling as wide as he possibly could. The picture was black and white, but it still didn't matter. Everything was different back then. When he was his nine year old self.

He remembered that day when they took the picture. It was three days before the death of his just passed 4th grade and was moving on to 5th, so his parents went to take a picture for his achievement. They dressed up in the photo and stood in front of their home and everything.

They were very wealthy. His father worked as a very high classed CEO of a company; practically owned the place. With all that money, they owned a mansion and there, Alfred lived there happily with his family. His mother had gotten him a dog, named Tony, and the two became best friends.

Alfred smiled a bit.

His father never really liked the dog, but he would crack a few smirks when he saw his son so happy with him. His father didn't like animals. He didn't like anything much. He wasn't that sort of guy. He was a busy man, so emotions didn't count. Only the business. His father wasn't ever around, and when he was, he was cold, brutal towards him. He always pushed Alfred to his limits, urging him to do better. But his mother was always there to calm his father. She understood Alfred couldn't do certains things. By God, she understood everything.

She always took care of him. Always gave him advice. Alfred could remember the nights she would tuck him in and kiss him on the head. She was so sweet and kind. She would be disappointed in him. Her son came out to be an insane murderer. Who would be proud of that?

Is that what she would think?

Alfred ran his thumb over the picture and felt his eyes burn.

No, he wasn't about to cry now. Not when he spent all these years trying not to.

He wiped his tears and gritted his teeth, clutching the photo in his hands. He loved his parents so dearly.

But they held them back.

"No more."he muttered, and took a lighter from his pocket. He pressed a soft kiss to the picture, and ignited the fire, burning a corner and throwing it in the tash. His emotions ruined the mission. Because of his parents. Who knows when that would ever happen again? A moment of life or death could happen, and his emotions would hold him back again. He would be controlled and ruin everything His past would hold him back.

Alfred walked to balcony and stared out the window, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air. He opened a cabinet from his dresser and took out his cigarettes, lighting one and sticking one in his mouth. He sighed.

Relaxing,

Alfred puffed out some smoke and felt his worries slip away. Now a days, Alfred found himself smoking often. As much as he wanted to break the habit..it just relaxed him.

"Happy death anniversary."he muttered, and closed the curtains. His mother wouldn't approve of him at all. He knew how she hated killing.

He knew.

 _"Mom! When I grow up, i'll be a policeman!"_

 _"Why is that sweetheart?"_

He blew a puff of smoke out and closed his eyes for a few moments,. After a while, he threw the cigarette away as well and laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling, eyeing the white paint.

 _"Because i'll get to kill bad guys and they'll never do anything bad again!"_

Alfred held the lighter he had in his hands, rubbing his finger over the smooth surface. He could remember the frown on her face that day.

 _"You shouldn't ever kill darling, remember the Bible."_

A lump was suddenly formed in his throat and he felt his eyes burn again.

" _Why not mother? A lot of people kill!"_

He closed his eyes.

 _"Alfred, the moment you take away someone's life, is the moment the label 'human' is taken from you. What you have done can never be forgotten. You have murdered, and you have stolen a precious life from someone else's hands. From that day, you aren't a human being."_

 _"Then what am i?"_

Alfred sat up, shaking miserably, and pulled on on his hair as he let out a hurt cry, shaking his head and letting the tears finally fall. Alfred sobbed into his hands and threw the lighter he had into the trash can as well, settling down with the ashes of the picture.

 _"You're a monster."_

This was the night he let go.

* * *

 **This fan fiction was more of a vent piece. I was just bored and emotional, so why not write to get shit off my chest?**

 **This is a Oneshot, though maybe i'll write more if you readers really want. I see no problem in doing so. This isn't my best work, but meh.**

 **Hetalia is not owned by me obviously.**

 **I apologize for any mistakes/confusion in this fanfiction.**


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